PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE
by Death's little side kick
Summary: Duo has been told to stay put! Being the hyper teen he is, there is nothing that will stop him from annoying people.
1. Target Trowa

Raven: Excuse the short chapter guys! ^_^! 

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE CHAPTER 1: Target Trowa

"MAXWELL WILL YOU STAY PUT AND KEEP THE LADDER STILL!!" Wufei yelled into the ear of a certain braided pilot who was delibrately shaking the ladder on which Wufei was standing, fixing a broken pipe. "Maybe" Duo said still vibrating the ladder. "Duo, you do realize that if you don't stop the shaking, Wufei will never get his work done, and then you'll have to live in a soggy, not to mention damp room" Quatre said. Surely enough, a pipe right above Duo's room had busted, causing a shower of cold water in his room. Quatre and Wufei had no idea what caused it, but they concluded with the idea that Duo must have been jumping around and hit his head on it. Though they could't prove it, but there was nothing better than blaming the caffeine high pilot for one thing or the other. "Quatre, you know better that I cannot resist annoying people, it's the only thing I do best" Duo said. "Well at least you admit it" Wufei mumbled. He tightened one screw, and just as he was about to tighten another one, Duo slipped on something in the water, knocking Wufei down, who in turn grabbed the fragile pipe and broke it. Quatre, Wufei just stood there as the room flooded again, Duo took his head out of the water and grinned sheepishly at Wufei who had a BIG bruise on his head, Quatre was all drenched with water and sneezing. They both death-glared him. ***** Heero was coming down the stairs to see that what his bullet, that he had fired into the floor fot testing, had shot. He stopped by Duo room and heard some splashing and gushing out of water. He opened the door and SPLASH!!! Heero, along with Duo, Wufei and Quatre were washed away by the water. "Pretty strong bullet" Heero remarked taking out his gun and staring at it lovingly. The other three stared at him confused, and also with an expression that said, are you okay? ***** Trowa heard all the commotion, and went to investigate putting down a very interesting book. He saw four wet and cold gundam pilots coming his way, one with a large bruise, the other holding the braid of the annoying pilot and the fourth having no expression at all. So it was hard to depict what he was thinking. The others surely meant murder. Quatre deposited Duo in one seat, Wufei brought a rope and tied it around him, he also duct taped his mouth, and Quatre put a book in front of him to keep him company. "Trowa, make sure that this baka stays here until and unless I set him free" Wufei said "Duo, shut up and stay still, no moving or no dinner" Quatre threatened. Then he left after Wufei to dry up. Heero went to see what damages had his lovely bullet caused. Trowa just shrugged and started reading his book again as Duo made futile attempts to free himself. He hopped around in his chair, trying to break free and yelling curses which were not clearly said or heard. Then he gave up and settled down to see the book Quatre had given him. He read only the first few lines and quickly got bored. He knocked the table's leg continuosly to bug Trowa, but Trowa just picked up his book and read. Seeing that there was no other way of annoying anyone or doing anything, Duo started to stare at Trowa. He stared and he stared. Trowa lifted his book to see if the baka was doing fine especially since it has been five minutes and didn't even make any noise. He saw that Duo was staring at him with those big cobalt blue eyes, staring and staring. He put his book back in front of his eyes and continued reading. After another five minutes he peeped to see what was Duo doing.........still staring at him, not blinking, not moving, completly frozen. 'Why is he staring at me like that' Trowa thought. Shaking his head and pushing the uncomfortable thought aside, he went back to reading. Seconds later he felt as if he was sweating, Duo still staring at him, he felt as if butterflies were roaming in his stomach, a very uncomfortable feeling. Then he started to feel nervous. 'Why was the baka staring at him so intensly for anyway' Trowa thought, was it because of something he was wearing, was he staring at his hair, what was he thinking. His peeped again to see if Duo was still staring at him. Suddenly feeling as if he was going to explode he shouted out loud "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??!" No answer, but continous staring. "WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME LIKE THAT" No answer, but continous staring. Trowa's eyebrow twitched, his lip trembled with anger. "QUATRE DUO'S BUGGING ME" "Heheheheheh" Duo smirked in satisfaction. He had just found a new weapon, which didn't require a lot of talking, and shouting, but just staring, and sitting still. Raven: Next chapter: Duo tries his weapon on the other G-Boys. See how they react!!! 


	2. Target Heero

Raven: I love Saturday's! No homework to do and you can get on with updating. 

J.A: of course you do realize that after you mother finds out your terrible marks in Physics test, you're gonna be banned from the computer. 

Raven: I know, I can't believe that stupid test is gonna ruin my average...DEATH TO PHYSICS!!!!

**Warnings**: This fic might be mentally unhealthy for people who are sane, there is no timeline, and the Gundams have been brought back to this story's conveniences, in other words, just read, and don't think of how and why is this happening. 

**PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE **

CHAPTER 2: Target Heero

Quatre had come downstairs to find Trowa cowering in the corner as Duo was all tied up, he couldn't understand why and how Duo could have annoyed Trowa. Anyhow, Wufei had fixed the pipes and had come back sniffing and sneezing.

"Baka, the pipe has been fixed, all you need to do is re-heat it, its damn cold in there" 

With that said he set Duo free. Duo just went back to his room to de-frost it. Wufei couldn't help thinking why he was so quiet. 

Duo getting bored with his room and wanting to test his weapon on some other people went into the hangar, where the Gundams were. Heero was there fixing the huge dent on Wing Zero, courtesy of a certain Maxwell's lovely driving. Duo went in.

"Duo stay away from me and Wing Zero, don't touch anything, don't mess with anything and most of all don't bother me, otherwise it'll cost your life if you value it" Heero said not even looking up to him. 

"Okay" Duo said as he sat down on a chair and unleashed his evil weapon. This came as a surprise to Heero. Duo never had agreed with him this easily. He turned around to see if Duo was okay. He saw that Duo was staring at him with those big, blue eyes, wide as saucers, not moving, not squirming, completely immobile. He shrugged and went back to work. 

After a while he felt as something was wrong. He turned back to see Duo still looking at him, he raised an eyebrow, Heero just hnnedd and went back to work. Later, thoughts flooded into the 01's pilots head.

'Why is he looking at me like that?'

'Is there something on my back?'

'Are spandex torn from the back or something?' thinking this he skedaddled at the back of the feet of Wing Zero, examined his back to see if anything was wrong, nope, his spandex weren't torn. Thank goodness for that. He went back to the front and started fixing again.

'He's still staring at me, I wonder what's wrong?'

'Maybe it's because I' wearing spandex right? Maybe I've out grown them, or maybe something's showing, or maybe even I should start covering myself up a bit because it's getting cold these days' He though shivering.

A little while later

'Damn that Maxwell he hasn't blinked once and I can't work like this. Maybe it's my hair, maybe he sis something to my hair' Heero whistled and scratched his head to feel if anything was on it, meanwhile making sure that Duo didn't think he was feeling insecure.

'Why!!!! Why is he staring at me like that' Heero though desperate. He couldn't take it anymore, he turned around, and started to walk out trying to look nonchalant, which he did, Duo's eyes followed his every move. As soon as Heero was out of Duo's staring area, he ran and he ran like hell as if Relena was after him. He ran at 20km/h covering a distance of 100 km in 10 minutes. Find his acceleration using a velocity time graph……

J.A: Uhh Raven, wake up, this is not physics, 

Raven: Wha…? Oh sorry! Got a little carried away! ^_^

Heero ran past Wufei who was carrying dirty sheets for the laundry, he was knocked over by Heero, yelling curses in his direction. Heero went up to his room and locked it. Then he locked himself in the bathroom. Then he changed into a full sleeved shirt and black pants. Holding a viper in his hands he went into his room and sat in a corner with laptop to accompany him. No one bugs Heero Yuy and gets away with it.

*********

Duo was rolling on the floor and laughing his head off at Heero's reaction. This staring thingy was wayyyy better than his previous annoying tactics. It was convenient, not harmful (except to the victim's mental health), and energy conserving. After he was done laughing, he wondered who shall be next!

Raven: Who should be next, you guys (readers) tell!


	3. Target Wufei

Raven: I hate Sundays, it always reminds you of school the other day, as well as lots of homework, but do I care, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ^_^

J.A: Well you did care when you got a … Raven what are you doing with that frying pan, HELPPP *whacks muse*

Raven: Enjoy the chapter ^_____6

J.A: @_@

 **PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE **

Chapter three: Target Wufei

"Achoo" Sneezed Wufei. He was in the living room, wrapped up in a blanket holding a mug of hot coffee. His cold had gotten bad to worse and it was all because of that stupid Maxwell. Speaking of Maxwell, Duo was hiding in the kitchen, devising another plan to annoy the hell outta someone. And that someone was Wufei. Poor Wufei!!!

****

"Maxwell what are you up to now?" asked Wufei looking up from the book he was reading. Duo came and sat down on the chair beside the sofa. 

"Nothing" Duo said closing his eyes and folding his arms above his head. 

"Hnn" Wufei grunted. "Well whatever you do don't make a sound, don't bother me, because I have a headache and a cold, because of fixing that stupid pipe in your room" Wufei said as he lay down on the sofa pulling the blankets on him leaving the television on. 

"Oh yeah, thanks for fixing that pipe" Duo said as he flicked through the channels. Wufei had a look of surprise on his face, which couldn't be seen as he had the blanket covering his face. That was the first time that Duo had thanked him for anything, and also he was quiet, acting sensible instead of a baka, overall, he was acting, kind of weird for even him to describe. 

"Duo im going to sleep now, so don't talk until I tell you too" Wufei said.

"Okay" Duo said calmly without any objection. 

Wufei looked out of his blanket to see if it was really Duo he was talking too, indeed it was. Shrugging he went to sleep. Duo meanwhile had turned the channel to where they were showing a movie of Jaws, as the theme played he turned to stare at the lump besides him, knowing he was going to enjoy the outcome of this. 

****__

_Thoughts of Wufei, getting wilder by the minute_

'It's been 10 minutes and no sound'

Five minutes later:

'It's so quiet…

Too quiet…….

Terribly quiet………….

Awfully quiet……………'

3 minutes later

'Maxwell must be up to something, I just know it, his annoyance radar must be beeping like mad now that I'm asleep, he better not do anything to me or I'll kill him'

'It must be what, 20 minutes by now, what the hell is keeping him so quiet, I feel as if he's staring at me, staring at me so intensely, staring at me, thinking of a plan, a plan to disturb me, HE'S GONNA DO SOMETHING'

****

Wufei took a tiny peep from under his blanket to see that Duo was staring at him, and then he continued to stare at the TV. 

"Wufei's conscious, I know it, otherwise he wouldn't be peeking out" Duo thought with a smile.

****

_Wufei's thoughts_

'He's smiling now, the Baka is smiling now, Oooo I know he's gonna do something to me, I just hope he doesn't glomp me, or jump on me, or disturb me, or even annoy me………. GAAHHH HE'S ANNOYING ME ALREADY!!!' 

Another five minutes go by:

'I need to get outta here, I need to go to my room, I need to sleep in peace and I'm telling Quatre!!!' Wufei thought as he pouted. 

'I'm gonna kill that damned moron if it's the last thing I do' 

'………maybe he's planning to me, yeah, yeah that's it, he's planning to get me back for all the times I've beat the crap outta him, well I'll show him'

[Jaws theme music plays]

'Stupid music, can't you tell that im freaking out already'

[Duo flips channel to where they are playing the theme music to Psycho]

'That's it I'm outta here'

Wufei took of the covers and zipped up to his room, he closed the windows, locked the door, pulled the blind down, turned the lights and fan on also holding a viper in his hand….just in case for defence. Downstairs, Duo was laughing hard and thus fell off of his chair holding his stomach.

"OHOHOHO, HEHHEHEEEE, HAHAHAHAHHA!!! POOR WUFEI, MAN I FEEL EVIL, HOHOOO HAAAAA OW! OW stitch!!!" 

****

Raven: Next target Quatre, stay tune for a really interesting chapter next time, as soon as I finish it.


	4. Target Quatre or is it

Raven: AT LAST!! I RETURN WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER.

J.A: *still has a bandaged head*: I'm not gonna say anything; I have been subjected to too much pain already.

Raven: Good for you! ^_^ and now, for the chapter you all have been waiting for

Psychological warfare Chapter four: Target Quatre 

Good old Quat was sitting innocently in his comfy chair reading his favourite book, unaware of the kind of dilemma that his fellow pilots were going through. Current status of the household: Heero in hiding, Trowa was fuming; Wufei was trying to get the psycho theme out of his mind while guarding his door. They all wondered the same thing, will their friend Quatre live! And Duo was happily whistling, strolling down the hallway looking for the last victim on his list: Quatre Raberba Winner. One should feel sorry for him, Duo that is, for what he was going to experience was going to go into the history books. 

            It was a fine day and Duo came into the room where Quatre was reading his favourite book on his comfy chair in his library. 

"Hello Duo!" Quatre said without looking up from his book.

"Hiya Q-man" Duo replied cheery as ever. He selected a book from the shelf and sat on the chair facing towards Quatre. The chair was a bit too close, all the better for Duo to see the blond pilot. 

"What book are you reading?"

"Some horror novel!" grunted Duo. He was not in a talkative mood at the moment. 

"Can you even read?" Quatre asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes-I-can" Duo said through gritted teeth, anger building up inside. 

"Oh well! Good for you" He said in his innocent and nice tone. Duo was fuming, in fact, he was boiling. 

*****

_Duo's Thoughts_

'That ******* blonde is gonna pay for that! Can you even read huhuhu!!!! (He thought mimicking Quat) What does he think I am a deadly baka on the loose?'

'Thinks he's sooo naïve, well, Oooooooooooooo the nerve, I feel like strangling the little creep. No- I mustn't be violent! What the..? Great, now I've started thinking like him, we shouldn't be fighting at all, bleeyyaachhh!!! Can he even read!!!!!!! Grrr! Must-not-loose-cool!! I'm gonna kick his sorry hind!! GARRHHHHH!! Man does he make me mad!!!!!!!

*****

Duo looked up from his 'some old horror novel' and saw that Quatre was quiet content and reading his book peacefully leaving Duo's though in turmoil, his brain was trying to stop him from causing bodily harm. He went back to his book and started thinking again. Or more like, cribbing again.  

****

_Duo's Thoughts_

'Mr-I-am-so-innocent is all hooked up in his silly little book. My hands are twitching to kill him. GRRR!!! Why I outta &^*#^#$*& %@##*&@^#*)!!! Ha, that felt much better…………………………………why the hell am I sweating……..and moving my leg, it's as if I was nervous about something. Wait a minute; Quatre is making me nervous, THAT LITTLE CHEAT TRYING TO OUT SMART ME!!! Well we'll see about that mister Winner!!'

*****

Duo peeped through the holes in the ancient book and saw the Quatre was still reading his book. His book too close to his nose. Must be a very interesting book. Duo smirked an evil smirk and unleashed his weapon. He started staring at Quatre. He started and he started and he started. But Quatre did not even stir. Duo realized this and thought:

"Something is wrong, I can feel it, I know he's plotting something, something that I'm sure is gonna be against me. He's-gonna-do-something!" 

Duo watched in anticipation, expecting Quatre to make some movement or in easy words, do something he won't like. 

*****

Trowa decided to go to Quatre and warn him before hand, on his way he met Wufei and Heero.

"What are you doing here?" Trowa asked them.

"I went to get a drink of water" Wufei said, turning away. 

"Heero, is it really that cold??" Trowa asked looking at Heero's attire. He was wearing loose pants, a jacket and a scarf with a constant scowl on his face. There was a tinge of redness there too. 

"Hnn mind your own business" Heero said also turning away and heading towards the library.

*****

_Duo's Thoughts_

"I just hope he doesn't know what my weak spot is, if he does I'm never gonna get over it, it feels horrible, why am I the one thinking and getting nervous……"

Duo nervously shifted in his seat and continued staring at the person in front of him, but with worried looks. Duo saw Quatre shift and twitch a bit, he leaned in closer and…

"BOOO" Cried Quatre jumping onto Duo.

"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Duo screamed startled, even more torture was subjected to him when Quatre started tickling him around the waist, which was Duo's ultimate weak spot. 

"AHHUUHHHHEEEHEHEHHAAA!! Quatre STOP, I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!! STOP!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

******

Trowa, Heero and Wufei heard he commotion that was materializing from the library, they rushed in to see Quatre laughing so hard that he was banging his fist on the table and Duo as white as a vampire clutching his sides, breathing so hard as if he had run a 100 meter race.   

"Uhh Quatre" They asked in unison. 

"Wha-ha-ha, wha-what?" Quatre asked getting up from the ground and wiping the tears from his eyes. 

"What just happened here?" 

"Ahh! Well I always wanted to try that on Duo" He said standing up and straightening the creases in his shirt.  Trowa, Wufei and Heero exchanged looks, smiled and decided to have some fun, more easily translated as: REVNGE ON DUO!

Poor Duo saw the faces of the three wicked pilots cracking their fingers who were grinning ear to ear. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" With that said he ran out of there at the speed of light, or a bit lesser, and he ran and ran towards the comforting familiarity of his room, his sanctuary. 

"Oh well he's gonna come out sometime"

"Yeah! YOU HEARD THAT MAXWELL, WE'LL BE READY" 

"Okay now that was mean, I think I gave him quiet a fright, maybe I should go and…"

"Hold it right there Winner, you remember what he did to your goldfish don't you"

"…….what's say we go get some lunch" 

"Good idea Winner"

"YEAH!!"

*******

~*End*~

Raven: Yup that was it, the big twist. GO QUATRE!!!!

J.A: *holds up flags and banners that say YAY QUAT* you guys might be needing these.


End file.
